Okay, i know it's late. I'm still awake. I can't sleep cause yeah, lately my mind has running like crazy. It's been so long since i have a crushed on a boy. Yeah, he's literally makes me addicted to every red thing in front of me. I have crushed again. And it's kinda difficult for me. In his eyes, i'm just a lil kiddo with a great passion on shopping and obviously he's kinda not interest at all. Okay, this is totally my opinion, but i feel not confident in front of him. Sometimes i'm just be a lil kid, sometimes i flirt and act like a maniac shopaholic, sometimes i just act like a wise woman and it just feel so wrong. I'm too wide open to show my personality and my vulnerability. I just can't hide it. He doesn't have any interest to have relationship and closed to me, he just call me a "friend" and he's not gonna want to meet me. My mom keep pushing me to have a boyfriend and i don't want to rush. But, in front of him, i'm appear to rush hardly. Yeah, firstly i think that this feel is just a temporary crush but my heart deny it as hard as it could. I even dreamed about him. I'm like what the hell am i doing? I think about him every second also. Overall, i don't want to be a one-side love. I hurt too much with that problems and i don't wanna that happened again to me. I'm sorry, "him". I just can't. I have to think again to fight for it or to fall apart.
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